I guess I need a psychologist (I consider WordPress is my psychologist), because I’m depressed about my future and that’s why I declared that Imagination XD was entered ‘The Pressure’ session. The Pressure session is a session where I was lack of Inspirations, Creativity and Social Anxiety everywhere.
Recently, VACE just downloaded Nitro Racer XD and shared it to the world. I thought I suppose to report this thing, but when I read what they think about Nitro Racer XD full version on some forums that shared by VACE, their ratings was awful. In some China’s website said that my games on promotional picture was very exciting, but the gameplay was boring like watching grass grow. I also read a review post, and they said this game has no pros. This game has very poor gameplay, very bad graphic, poor soundtrack, Text-To-Speech character talking, physics problem, and horrible control. I also received a hatemail from desura users, they said they f****** the main menu that you have to drive it, so in the future, I’ll disable all of this.
This all made me realize about how horrible is my game and I think it’s no use to promote or make a new update to this game anymore. I guess the full version players wont meet Leslie, Matt and other update characters (this character will be recycled to next sequel). I guess this gave me a very sad ending.
I know, everytime I rant or post something that I want to quit making games, people on the internet cheered me and encouraged me and that brought back my spirit of making games. But everytime I saw a simple game that I also can make it and more successful than mine, I always thinking “Why their game can be liked by everyone ? It’s so simple.” Looking at their comments like “I can’t wait till this release!”, “This is super amazing!” or being played by PewDiePie, and all my minds gone “Why?”. My positive thinking mind said “It’s simple, let’s make that game!” but my negative mind said “Why? All people in this universe against you. It’s no use to make a game like that. You’ll be sued by them. Nobody likes your creation.” That really crushes my spirit.
Do they know about the developer of this game that had worked this game alone, up all night, sacrificed everything, just a bunch of High School Teenagers that want to make a game, and also had no education in making games ? I think they should tolerance a little bit. Yeah, I know that Nitro Racer XD is very bad and I also don’t want you to praise Nitro Racer XD, but I’m afraid in next year, I will get a same problem again. My mom told me that next year, I’ll get a lot of bad lucks (well, I don’t know about mythological things, but it makes me worry about that).
This all above made me thinking about what I should do in 2014? My School life will over in April 2014, and all my friends will start a College life. I don’t choose to have a college life, because I don’t have money to attend a college and plus there’s no major that I interested (all majors were just Excel, Word, Management, Economic, Tourism). I’m hoping I can work as Interior Designer to collect money to reach my dream to be a Game Dev. But, to work as Interior Designer you must have at least D3 degree and 1 year experience. But I also can work as Graphic Designer with $80/month. Can you imagine how hard living in here is?
My game is bad because I don’t have money, I don’t have money because I don’t have a job, I don’t have a job because I don’t have education/experience, I don’t have an education/experience because I don’t have a job.
So the conclusion is, I’m not sure about what I’m going to be next, leaving or continue (The Crossroad of Destiny) developing games. In 2014, I’ll probably release Crystal Guardians. I’ll stop making games if I already made 20 failed games (current is 7 failed games). I got a very little confident about this project. So yeah, wish me luck.
I think this below is a song that suitable for me now.
Thank you for reading this post, I hope you have a nice day and thanks for playing Nitro Racer XD. Thank you for sharing your time on playing Nitro Racer XD.